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| Nothing Is Going To Hold Her Back! |
I would like to think that as a family, we have grown in our knowledge and acceptance of Celiac as a new member of the family. Celiac was certainly not a wanted thing, but we have all worked hard on making this switch as easy as possible for our youngest daughter and her siblings. Sure we've made mistakes, but that is how you learn. If you have a child that is newly diagnosed I want to share some tips with you that have helped us cope with the change:
1. Speak freely and often about Celiac, even the gross stuff
This is important, especially to your Celiac child and their siblings. This is not a "hidden" disease or something to be ashamed about. I have asked about my daughter's bowel movements every day for probably four years now, and I'm not stopping anytime soon. I need to encourage her to share with me if she gets "glutened" and if her bowels are acting up that is a good indicator to me she probably has been. My other kids, while probably not thrilled with those conversations, don't even flinch about it anymore. It's been explained why we ask and they accept it because we talk about it all the time.
2. Start Researching On Line Support
There are many, many resources on the internet such as message support boards, Facebook groups, Twitter people who only deal with Celiac and gluten free, recipe sites, Pinterest etc. I encourage you to find the ones that speak to your family and help you. Decide what you need most and start there. Is it recipes? Or do you need support from a group? Do you want to find GF prodcuts? I promise you there is no shortage out there. No matter if you are looking for a gluten free play doh recipe or a list of what places at an amusement park have gluten free food, you can find it on the internet!
3. Reach Out To Your Child's Class
This might be a hard one to do. Your instinct might tell you that the parents will ostracize your child or wonder what "gluten free" really means or if it is made up (seriously, there are people like this). I encourage you to reach out to the other parents and see if anyone else is GF. I did and was amazed there were FOUR total in my daughter's 2nd grade. Since I reached out, we all support each other with GF food at parties and our kids don't feel like the odd-person out. Your child will thank you if they find another kid with the same diet restrictions!
4. Make Food A "Family" Thing
One of the biggest changes we did was making all dinners gluten free and all of our cereals and breakfast foods gluten free. My other kids still have gluten for lunch in their lunch boxes, but at home we are pretty consistent about being GF. This is important because no matter what we serve, we know she can have some of everything on the table. No restrictions on the table = no feeling of restriction for her at home. My older kids don't really notice a difference. They might not see mom's regular Chicken Parmesean, but they haven't complained about any of the GF substitutes we have made for dinner.
In addition to this, my husband does all the food shopping and now takes our Celiac girl with him. They go through the store, he helps her read labels and she helps pick out all the things she wants to eat at home. This is so important!!! She is learning how to read labels, and is seeing all the choices she has, which is so empowering for her.
5. Take The Time To Talk About Feelings
As a parent, our heart breaks when our kids are sad about being different. We have helped her deal with this in a couple ways. My husband and I both went gluten free too, which she loves. GF is now the majority in the family! We talk about when we go places and we can't have the "regular" food that everyone else does. We pick out her portable snacks and lunches together and bring heated food that she likes.
Understand, every kid has a bad day and that's ok. There will be days of, "It's not fair!" We always give her room to complain or express herself and those negative emotions. We don't stifle that frustrated feeling, but encourage her to pour it out and find ways to cope with it.
Our older kids will occasionally ask about her disease. Will she have it forever? Can she eat at "kids favorite restaurant"? Will I ever get Celiac? These are all GREAT questions, and you have to be aware as a parent that this disease will touch everyone in the family in some way. Keep that communication open. Talk to them about everything that happens like doctor's checkups for the Celiac kid, why you give her certain vitamins, and how the family can still take a vacation together. Don't hold back on the reassurance and the explanations. The more they know, the better.
No one ever wants to feel left out. It is always hard on kids to grow into a life change. I don't know if she quite comprehends how long a "lifetime" is, but we will be here to support her and let her know she is never alone with us. I encourage you to watch the video below. It is a video from Boston Children's Hospital and it features kids with Celiac talking about their feelings and their fears. It is a powerful message for any child with Celiac disease.
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